life's like a plasticine..how you make it?

2007-03-01T05:17:00.000-08:00

Woah..my blog is really rotting sia..
It's time to update..hahax.
Let's talk about my birthday then, I went for squash on my birthday! haha.i know it's crazy but who cares...I haven't train for thousand of years..it's time I start my intensive training again..
After squash, went to TM Ajisen to eat with Kenneth, Charlene, Shang and Shermaine..hahax..thanks guys for the funny dinner.hahax
Oh ya..it's a very important day to remember too..hehe..
thx dear
Let's fast forward....had tests everyweek...test, test, test.......
I'm so so tired
Yesterday had ladder match with Shang during squash...
Haiz..bad match...9-7, 9-0, 9-0...what the hell am i doing right..
I also don't know..the racket just keep turning here and there and the ball just keep hitting the metal plate.arrgh...irritating..
Never mind..I shall train hard...
Shang!! I will be back man.hahax
Today had two GP tests ..I think I screw up both..haiz..I must find ways to concentrate during tests man..and I HATE DOING TESTS IN LT, AUDI AND PLACES WHICH ARE DAMN QUIET!!..

Super bored now..bodyache..
Tomorrow will be getting back my Chinese A'level result..haiz..
I wonder what will I get. I just hope for a B....
God, please help me...

2007-01-18T05:26:00.000-08:00

Time flies man..
It's gonna be the last day of the week soon.
I must say it's been a really busy and tiring week for me...
Monday to Wednesday, I have been returning home at 9 plus pm..hahax
thats thanks to squash..cox we had trials..
Although the trials end ad 7, due to the squashers' enthusiasm, we ask the coach to further extend the time for booking the court..so we play play play..till 9 plus..
then the next day, my arm was like....dead?..hahax..Melvin and I were so tired that we slept during class...
I believe the other squashers did that too..hahax..
Well, I must say this year, there are lots of J1s who join squash..
There are 12 boys and the rest are girls..
Among the guys, there are only 2 who can play quite well?..
there's one from victoria who's able to beat some of the J2s..not bad huh..
but he still need guidance..he needa know that hitting hard is not the way to win..hahax..

Today, the students in the arts and culture elective were suppose to do a sub culture..and that includes me..haha..in the morning the guys went to the toilet to style our hair..and omg..it's super nerd!!!..thats with our shirt button up all the way..
and I look like the "lao fu zhi"..haha..
the girls tied 2 ponny tails. hahax..all so cute..looks like Jap girls
Oh yes..and I was damn pissed..I went to art lesson so the girls don't have the time to style my hair..
and after that..that stupid melv go around and say I don't dare to style and everything..and say I become outcast..and the worst thing is he say for like 5 times?..even in front of teacher..
I was like "F*** You la..What's your freaking problem..I didn't say I don't want to style right..
just that I was having art lesson and don't have the time what!!"..arrgh..
and I nearly went up to him and punch him when he said it the last time..

Okay, forget about that..shall control my temper..
Oh yes, today my class had debate on "One man's art is another man's junk".
my group was suppose to debate that one man's art is not another man's junk..
at first I was kinda blur...maybe cause too tired le ba..
then sarah was debating and the funny thing is they keep relating art to money..hahax..
so until the opponent kinda strike me with his wrong idea that art is anything which can benefit him, then I began to debate..hahax..
Well, to me, art is anything which can cause an impact on the viewer..whether it's negative or positive, it doesn't matter...
For example, I put a piece of blank paper on the table and that's my art work..
many people might think that's junk!!..
well, to me it's not a junk as long as it catch your attention and makes you think ..
So, the viewer can think that what is it that in this artwork that makes me feel that it's a junk?.
isit because the artist is trying to question the definition of art?
Yes, so there's no art that is junk..
However, I must agree that it's hard to convince oneself that such things are called art..as art is subjective...sometimes I also don't understand why do artists keep questioning the definition of art..hahax
Oh yea..I got back my art test today..well, there's an improvement but I'm not very happy with it coz I really spend lotsa time on it.=(..

Okay, enough of art.hahax
Today we played dare in canteen as usual..
I think our clique really make us more courageous?..hahax
I kana 2 times today..first was to lick hendro's ear and vise versa and to use my mouth to take off Melvin's specs and vise versa too..my poor mouth...hahax
The last class of the day was Chemistry..
it was really tiring..everyone almost fell asleep..
but we still perservere..hahx.

Tomorrow will be squash day and going out day for me again..
must really regain my strength to study for A's..

2007-01-12T06:42:00.000-08:00

Alright, time to clear the webs on this blog..hahax..Well, just finish all my topical tests. I must say that it was really last minute
and I wasn't prepared for anyone of them...well, maybe for art...hahax.Lets see, for Gp, the compre is just okay..still manage to do.hahax.for maths, it was considered easy just that i screw up the last question and another one on integration..roar!!..I want retest~!!!FOR BIO!!...I wrote crap man..and guess what, the lights of LT1 went off...well done..so we have to use our phone's light to continue the test..hahax...not bad..we are well-prepared for another case like this.Chem, crap too...but I believe it's a better crap than bio..lolx..and lastly art...I went researching at National Library, Internet and even wrote the essays down on a paper and try memorizing them...but damn it..while doing the test, my mind just went blank...so blank that it can be a modern artpiece.haha

On Tuesday there was CCA fair...woohoo..Charlene, and Shermaine go around saying that although squash has trial, but we accept everyone...and wat the toot...now we have 70 plus applicants..hahax...choosing 10 of each gender...have to kick out so many!!Feel so bad huh...tsk tsk..I went to talk to the GM girls to persuade them to join..and when I ask them whether they regconize me?..they say NO!!!..wa lau!!!..how can?!?!..haha..But anyway, I keep using Gm to persuade them to join.haha...feel kinda bad la..=x

Hmm..just came back from a movie called "Blood Diamond" at TM..
I must say it's really grusome. It's about this black guy who was separated from his family by the "RUF"?..*cant really remember..haha
then he was sent to this place to dig for diamonds...then he found this diamond which is a size of a bird egg..cool huh..and it's pink in colour.
so everyone is eyeing on this diamond...So you can visualize what happens in between...killings and more killings..
Well, I feel that discrimination can be seen through this movie??..hahax...done too much GP already...can't blame me..but anywhere...
if anyone of you guys want to see bloodshed, just try this movie..hahx.but some parts are really boring that I nearly sleep...zzZZzzzZzz

Next week my shedule will be filled with squash...Have to carry out trials for the J1s..hahaxYeong Eun, you better play well and get in hor..haha

2006-12-24T05:36:00.000-08:00

Oh man..I think I better update before I get hacked..hahax
Well..Just finish Service Learning Project...FINALLY~!!!..phew!

Okie, lets talk about yesterday,
met up with Yao, Hulk, Peili, Yue Wen, Fui San, Fui San's sister..
took train to Serangoon.....phew...far..
Aiya..shan't talk about the bo liao details..
Anyway, our first activity with the kids was games..
Among the kids, there were some who are really rebellious, some who are really cute!! and some who require special attention..
Actually, those who require special attention, I can't find out whats wrong with them..they look so normal to me..
Anyway, I was in charge of the game called Water and Sponge..and guess what..
the kids seem to not seen water before...they keep playing with it, and splashing at each other..
Then there was a girl who took flour and just pat at my black tee shirt..hahax..I was like, "Thanks huh!" haha..
Okay, after they play their game, they came to run around us and want us to carry them, piggyback them, and carry them like superman..lolx..luckily they are small size.

Okie, then to the Clown Show, these are some of the pictures during make up,

<----the final face..lolx..

very stupid huh..but after a while, the paint start to fade cox I began to perspire a lot..hahax

Anyway, my clown's name is "Dan Dan"..hahax..

Aiya, don't have the video to show..sad sad..

Yao!! Where's the performance's pictures!!In your phone right?haha

Next was carolling..hahax..I think we should have practice together..
I don't even know the lyrics..hahax
Well, glad that everything went smoothly..hahax..
Well done 06S05!!!..=D..

Tomorrow is Christmas Day..
which was the day we were together..
Sorry for blowing my top that day..
didn't mean it..
maybe I thought too much..
shouldn't have care so much..
sorry..
This Christmas seems lonely and quiet to me..
maybe cox I have celebrated 2 Christmas with you ba..
haiz..
This year..
a year of happiness or sorrows?...
I would choose sorrow..
although everything suddenly seem so peaceful,
I still can't find the happiness that I had 2 years before..

ZY, Merry Christmas..

2006-12-07T05:31:00.000-08:00

Phew...all over...tournament's over...
Lets see..
Tuesday, met at 7 plus to go to Singapore Poly..so damn early..hahax
my match was at...12.15pm.. first opponent- Shaun Yip..a small pro..
okay, fine..I lose to him..I was so damn nervous...don't know what I was playing..damn.. I see ball, just hit, never even think where to hit next..haiz.
So, got thrashed, 2-0...
Next match was at 4.45pm... opponent was realy a beginner..
I played slack...still nervous..don't know why...but luckily I won..phew..won him (2-1)..hahax..the last ball of 2nd set I wanted to play play..so I serve so damn hard that my ball flew out of court..=x..

Okie, on to Wednesday...my match was at 10am.. my best match..not as nervous..but still got abit??..hahx..but I still lost...the score was 11-7, 9-11, 10-11....so damn close right...one more point and I would have won...
But I guess it was planned from the start...
During the 3rd set, I sprain my ankle already...haiz..so even I won, the next opponent would have a walkover..haiz..whatever la..
After that went to Queensway to change my string..haha..I broke it before the match..so suay huh...have to use bernard's racket to play..

Well, today, Thrsday... woke up to watch tv...so damn tired..
watch till 12 plus, then went back to sleep..hahax..
then Randall woke me up..arrgh...so irritating..he don't understand what's "ankle sprain"..hahaz.
keep asking me to go his house....grrrr..

well...Christmas coming...I have a wish for this year...but...no one will be able to fulfil it for me..
sigh.. you said once...if being with another guy will be able to forget me, you will do it...
then now...am i suppose to be with another girl to forget you....haiz..
i hate this..

2006-11-25T05:34:00.000-08:00

What can I say other than TIRED TIRED TIRED...
Oh man...squash has been killing me sia..
5 days of squash this week already..
next wednesday playing with MJC and SRJC..yay...I shall rest very very well...must perform well that day..

Sigh..I wonder how are you...
I have been trying hard..very hard..
The thought of you just make me weak..
so weak that my tears start pouring..

i miss you

2006-11-20T06:40:00.000-08:00

I am sorry...really...it wasn't what I want....I swear...
And you should know I am not that kinda person...

Suddenly I just don't know how to face you anymore..
I feel angry...at the same time sad...
angry that why this happen...
sad that you gave me a cold shoulder..

All I can say is, ever since I thought through and made this decision, I am serious about it...
AND I DON TREAT IT AS A BET..
cause I made enough mistakes..

feeling down..

2006-11-18T06:05:00.000-08:00

Sigh..muscleache..
squash squash squash..
everyday squash...
not tired also become tired..
hahax...bo liao me..

Yesterday went for squash at 9am...
While Sim and me were playing match,
I hit one ball which hit the fan..
and....the fan cover drop..and the metal plate came off..hahax!
how powerful am I..lolx
After squash, went out with Randall and Jon to shop..
They shop for Prom stuff..
manx..I feel damn jealous la...1 more year to it...
however..if It's Prom now, means my day to army is so near..haiz.
We shop shop shop....saw SO MANY THINGS I want to buy la..
Lets see, a white informal blazer-$119 , a long sleeve shirt-$70 plus?....
Then went to Old Kallang Airport to eat...wow..the sugar cane drink there is...WOW...
took a hell time to finish it..hahax
At night, went online, talk to her...realise some stuff happen to her....manage to calm her down though...
you mustn't blame yourself cox of that k? It's not your fault.

Now, for today, Saturday..
woke up kinda late..hahax..too tired la..
then I went to watch tv, went online to watch princess hours..
however, got nag by my mom...cant watch finish...roar!!
Anyway, talk to her on MSN again...well..told her something...and I get an answer which hurt myself again...=(
Then, went back to sleep...the weather was damn hot..I couldn't bring myself to do any homework..arrgh..stupid weather..

Now, rotting in front of the computer..you came online, but left so fast...didn't manage to talk to you....haiz..maybe I should just turn myself away again..
Maybe I should learn from *you*, treat everything as nothing has happened...haiz..

the sound of shattering.......is pain..

2006-11-16T05:41:00.000-08:00

Did I do the right thing?...
hiding it for so long..
telling you all of a sudden..
now everything seems so awkward again..
maybe it's my fault..
shouldn't have told you...
should have kept it to myself..

Anyway, thanks for the answer..
maybe the past has give you a bad experience..
but we were too foolish then.
now...everything will be different..
What more should I say....
maybe I should just go and drown myself with liquor again..

I hate myself for making that choice...begging for your forgiveness

2006-11-09T04:56:00.000-08:00

okay, this picture here abit....gross if you look This picture consists of jars with dolls and
close enough.. oxygen tanks in it.

This is my favourite!! This photo is taken from eye level.
Look carefully, there's a seal.

Hmmm, yesterday went to Singapore Biennale. These are 4 of them which I like...I actually took 70 plus of them..hahax..some took illegally..hehex.. Well, we went to city hall for 2 hours, some art pieces are really cool..some are spooky, especially the way they match the space in the courtrooms with the art pieces. Hmm, next went to Tanglin Camp.. waa..long journey!!..stayed there for 3 hours..TIRING..the art pieces there are..okay?...I like the one with the seal..so cool..
Then the last stop we went to National Museum. The air-con there is splendid!..=x..hahax,,,then saw emmeline ans her BF there..lolx..didn't expect her to view the art pieces. Oh wells, went home at 5 plus..was totally exhausted..slept till 7 plus..woke up to watch goong!!..=x.
Manx, last night didn't sleep well!! Kept visualizing how I was goona present my OP today.

AND SPEAKING OF OP!!..I announce that Project is FINALLY OVER..OUT OF MY LIFE..phew..Feel so glad..hahax..
Okay, lets talk about OP, My group was the first to present..our accessors were 2 maths teacher..looks scary..hahax..
Well, at first I was SO scared!!..I kept telling myself this is the last time I am presenting..Do it well..hahax...I kept telling myself that till I present finish..Hmm..the whole class said I was damn loud..3 times louder than my group members..weird...so loud meh?...In the morning when I meet them for practice, I was talking like...a sick person?..well, Thank God for the amazing voice though..hehx..
However!!!..I screwed up my Q&A!!..." What's the diff between 3G and 4G!!"...What the hell!!!..How I know!!!..Then I was stunt!!!..Then the teacher said " in terms of features?"..
I was like..DUH!!!...WHAT ELSE....hahax..okay, abit bad..but I was blank..hahax.
Then I crap...and sheesh...I didn't crap well..Shouldn't have answer so fast..Should have think through it before I answer...then could have compare point by point..hahax..

Then Fui San got a question from the list of question we spotted..but she can't find it then..so..ya..wasted..
Well, I think the worst question was Eveline?..the accessor just say, " Drivers using mobile phones, woulldn't that be dangerous??" ..waa...The whole class got shocked!! hahax..

Ok, this part shall be dedicated to my group members. Elizabeth, Eveline, Fui San and Marriane, Good Job girls..after months of hardwork...we have finally put an end to this Project. I must have I am gonna miss the times we meet up and discuss, and sometimes laugh like mad..hahax..thanks girls, the project won't be a success without you all. I hope this project not only allow us to work together but also to know each other more..ya?.

To duck: Although during the process of Project something happen...but..I guess we were still able to manage this project well eh?...esp you ba..hahax..thanks for doing the website..it must have been hard on you.

To Eveline: Hmmx..I must say you are really good at IT eh?..hahax..Anyway, thanks for telling us your view whenever you see something not right..well..although it's abit straightforward, but I still appreciate it alot..yupe..=D

To Fui San: Hey smart girl..hahax..always so cheerful during meetings, never once tired or what..hahax..Good Job!!..never fail to give us new ideas and motivate us to move on..hahax. and stop bullying me la..=x.

To Marriane: You seem to be the mother of the group..hahax. Thanks for comforting me at times..I appreciate it..Hmmx, now you no needa bring Laptop to school already..relieve?..hahax..

To myself:...well..nothing much to say..maybe you all can give me comments?.

Hmmx..I guess none of them would be reading it ba..nvm..hahax..
Thanks again...

Okay, now, for myself..well, it's time for me to start studying and to practice my Squash for December tournament..hahax..Actually Pig ar..if 4 of us went to the beach last night, I would have said everything..cause I was too tired to put up a brave front..hahax..but it's over..hahax.
Okay, think I should stop here..

Take Care TP022!! And ROCK ON!!!

2006-11-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

wei...please..i'm tired...tired of everything..
Give me a break, okay?
I needa sort out myself first..
All I can say is..Kenneth said: "Tetrahedral has 4 sides"
So, it involves 4 persons...yupe...

2006-11-06T05:15:00.000-08:00

A holiday which doesn't seem to be one.
Tired, I am.
Wonder what's going on.
Wish to share it with you.
But seems to me it matters no longer.
Separated due to a break.
Thought everything's going to be back to old times.
But, it was just a dream.

Don't dare to disturb you.
However that doesn't mean no more.
You should know better than I do.
Memories haunt me like never before.
All I wish, is to be back.
Back to someone whom I can recognised.
I wonder...

Thanks.
No one was there accept you.
I wish I could.
But I just couldn't bring myself to.
Dilemma..
Dilemma..
Dilemma..

A person spilt into three.

2006-10-30T06:29:00.000-08:00

YES ONE MORE THING...EVERYONE WHO IS VIEWING MY BLOG, PLEASE VIEW MY PROJECT'S WEBSITE!!!...PRETTY PLEASE!!!...THIS IS SO AS TO INCREASE THE COUNTER ASAP...THANKS GUYS!!!! =D

THE WEBSITE IS http://generationd.tpjc.iwarp.com/index.html

2006-10-30T06:20:00.000-08:00

Wee!!!..HAPPY DAY!!..hahax..
DRY RUN WAS GREAT..WOOHOO..
1st try: fluency and clarity: 2, awareness of audience: 2, response to question: 2
2nd try, which is today, Dry Run: 3, 4, 5 respectively..
hahax...however my group section got 2..=(...cause of our demostration..nvm!..TP022, You rocks!!..just sort out some things tomorrow and we will be nearly perfect!..hahax..
Okay, why am I so high..hahax..don't know and don't care...
Now, everything that is in my mind is my OP script...have been trying hard to memorize it..heh..practicing it wherever I go too..hahax..
Suddenly, OP seem so fun.haha...Fun!!..
Hmm..Tomorrow have to go back school again..having a meeting with Mr Foo..hahax..
This coming December, there will be a Squash competition held in Singapore Poly...oh wells..Gotta train hard for it!!!!..
Chinese A's coming!!!...damn!!..I am damn scare!!..can't screw this up...HAVE TO WORK HARD..=D

alot alot alot alot means....tetrahedral

2006-10-29T05:37:00.000-08:00

I guess it's been a long time since I last update already. hahax.lets see..from the previous post, can see that I enjoyed myself at the snowcity..hahax..
OH YA..most of all...School ended!!..woohoo..Or rather...just for a while?..tomorrow still have to go back for dry run, friday having Chinese A' Levels!!...crap..I wana get A for Chinese!!...but I am very very very slack now..hahax..no motivation to study...
hmm...I got my weights already!!..my relative gave them to me..hahax..cause he's becoming a pilot..hahax..lets see..there are two 6kgs, one 7 kgs..hahax..think I needa buy more..=p
Sigh...things are getting so complicated suddenly..why why why why why...can you tell me why...isit so difficult to communicate?..arrgh..

whatever whatever whatever WHATEVER.... WHATEVER

2006-10-26T03:20:00.000-07:00

group photo!!!

me and san 1

haha...stupid bus..

snow city rocks!!

me and san 2

2006-10-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since i last update my blog..hahax..lets see..let me just write down my overall results first

B C C D E U

hahax...crappy results but at least i manage to pass all accept one...which is art..oh wells..didn't pass it from the start of the year..hahax..I find no meaning in studying theorical art..i rather draw..

Today screwed up my presentation..haiz..first one to present..of course panic right..wells...something which puzzles me..i didn't speak that loud meh?...i thought its already very loud...never mind..I will shout till I get sore throat on the 9th November..hahax.
Today kinda happen alot of stuffs eh?...Hendro's group got problems...haiz..now i know..the aim of PW is to let us know our classmate more in depth. Well, on the way to Tmart, heard something which struck me..well..i think she know i heard it bahx...just want to say that.I didn't want you to redo the WR by yourself because it will take alot of time for one person to finish the work..imagine..me, you, marriane, eve did the WR till 4am..if you are gonna do it yourself, what time will you do till?...Sorry if it makes you pissed...hope you can understand.. :)..

Well, every group has their own problems, has people whom they dislike...All I can say is, persevere for another 3 more weeks!..PW will be dead by then.. Hendro has been saying my group is good good..well, I don't think so..I don't think I am a good leader.. maybe there high expectations to be met..now my aim is just to make everyone be comfortable with...*ya*..cause I heard alot of bad things..oh wells...can we don't think of how *ya* will react?..just treat it as she is doing her part in a more straight forward way..and..just persevere ya?..=)

Hmmx..have been practicing Squash lately..really hope to improve my skills..still can't match up to bernerd...crap..hahx..today use too much of my wrist..now damn pain..have to buy some kinda guard now i suppose?..*ouch*..

Tomorrow will be meeting up with V6?..or 3 of us only...aiya..don't know..not confirm..but really hope all can go...but people..I can't spend much..Sunday i going out with my SRJCians for birthday celebration..hahax..long time since i last saw them..

Hmmx...yesterday there was class outing..hahax..they enjoyed themselves..good..I was spending my time at home doing the OP slides..hahax..well..don't feel like going actually...ya..have my own reasons..sorry guys..=)..

Have been pondering over a question...
How do you identify who is your true friends..
Well, after Promos, I began to reflect on my JC life..hahax (think too much?)
In my class, there are different cliques, different kinds of quarrels, dislikes.
Why don't I see this happening in secondary schools?
Is it because JC students are more mature?..they begin to think more? begin to fight for their rights and pride?..
What are friends?
What are they?..
till now, I can only say secondary life meant alot to me..
Someone once told me that JC is the time when you meet your real friends,
well, I don't dare to deny neither do i dare to accept it...
Haiz..I suppose I need to find the answer myself.

i have hidden secrets...when can i unlock them to you...

2006-10-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

It was not meant to be a relationship,
but a lesson for me...
maybe I should just say thanks...
but i know it doesn't help..
everything seems so different..
everything seems so cold..
why can't things just go back to the past..
maybe i made the wrong decision from the start..
a life-time mistake..
i regretted...
i hate myself..

thanks yi.

2006-10-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

hmmmx..been a long long time since i blog huh..haha..wells...guess what..PROMOS IS OVER!..how happy can i get..hahax...wells..to be frank..its just a happiness seen outside of me..the inner me...is still hurt as ever...oh wells..
today went eliz house to do pw and SLP..well..SLP was a success..but..PW is not..my group's written report seem to be a failure..haiz..how?..monday have to hand up..all is not ready..HOW!..haiz...after discussion of SLP, we played mahjong!..woohoo..don koe how long i din wash tiles alr..haha..won quite a few times tough..hahax..n won eliz n she have to pay me 32!..fake money though..=p.hmmm..at first..there's alot of laughter..then the big group decided to leave..left me, melvin n eliz..well..things were still going on fine though..then melvin left..left me and eliz..
yes, its weird..very weird..it just reminds me of the time when i was alone at her house..haiz..then we continue playing mahjong...then she started to call her friends to come along..ya..i koe it feels weird..but i nearly wanted to leave...when u were toking to ur friend..but i din...in the end..her cousin came along...haiz..I wanted to ask for patch up when we were alone..
useless me..really!..useless asshole..arrgh..i just wasted a chance..damn..but its really hard...u cant ask me to play mahjong...n suddenly ask her that rite...i mean..we are still doing pw at this point of time..if i suddenly ask this question, things will just go back to the awkward period of time isn't it...and i suppose this is not the time for that bahx..haiz..

people...what should i do.. I really cant take it anymore..haiz...
after that went to meet randall..eat dinner...actually said i wan2 go shopping..in the end..is he shop..i ended up looking for her...cox she's heading to town..so i thought she will be there...oh wells...i really don koe wat to do now.haiz..should i just ask now?..or...wait....

*heart crack..

2006-10-03T21:34:00.000-07:00

MY

DAMN

BLOODY

STRESSED UP

LIFE!!!

2006-09-29T01:47:00.000-07:00

GENERAL PAPER DOWN!!!!...woohoo!! But I think I screw it up..crap...my body seems to be doing it rather than my brain..its like someone is controlling me and do the whole paper rather than me myself...haiz...
Waiting for an answer, searching for an answer...wonder what the answer might be.. Everything just suddenly don't seem to be the I want it to be..haiz...what is going to happen?..please...let it be the way i want it lord...i am willing to face all the consequences..
Yesterday somehow something in me just keep telling me its impossible..no way it will happen..and it just crushes my heart..arrgh.... Monday will be having Chemistry and Art..hope I will be in tip top condition..today while waiting for GP exam I just suddenly think of her..oh wells..shouldn't have...
After GP, went to eat Macs with the rest..or rather the main purpose was to see her longer..erm..yao...read le don beat me up..hahax..
aiya..whatever la.. what comes my way is what God has planned...

what matters most....is we spent a period of time together before.....i shouldn't ask for more...

2006-09-27T00:59:00.002-07:00

today, wednesday...had biology spa..damn..screw it up..was doing doing doing...then *piang*...the water spill onto my paper...damn..at that point of time.i was like, " Forget it la..fail le..don't want to do le"..hahax..but miss Nora came to me and sau don panic..haha..okay fine..managed to finish it though..amazing..but one weird thing..I weigh the 5 cm long cylinder of potato and it weigh 7 plus grams..but when i weigh 10 0.5 com circular discs, it weigh 13 plus grams...what the hell rite?..hahax...so nvm..i went to change the result..bleaghx..

lets see..yesterday..hahax..bad day!!!!..had PW..and Miss Sukvinder just say my group's WR is in trouble..its like WAT!!!...can u imagine??!??!..your present PW ST just say its good, HIGH MEETING EXPECTAT IONS..then someone just come and spoil everything! arrgh!..but maths remedial was fun though..hahax..oh man...eliz and yao spray 2 kinds of Deoderant at me!...make me smell like..."flower"?haha!..then yao say thats how an insect die (means i am the insect and they are using insecticide to spray at me)..haha!..nice one yao..best joke ever..=x.. hmmx..then something happen..I went to pat Eliz head..hahx..then she came running after me...I ran out of front door, slam the door..ran to the back door..and guess what..she ran that direction too..and we just collide and she got bounced off..hahah!!!..then she just sat on the floor and laugh like mad..hahax...stupid duckie..=x..

Hmmx..2 days to GP promos..I am really afraid.my Gp totally sucks!..arrgh..oh ya..today had revision lecture..and did revision questions..oh man..I don know how to do la!!..manx..I really needa mug mug!!..no time to slack!...arrgh..

Haiz..something in me seems to be confused..here or there..i don't know..Although I have been trying real hard..to make you happy..but..I really hope..you know how i feel..Somehow, something in me just tells me its just me who is "zi zuo tuo qing"...but..I really can't seem to forget everything that has happened..everything seems to be left as a scar in my mind..and..the broken heart...haiz..I suppose I just have to wait till 5th October..or maybe I should just wait abit longer..and see how things go?....But I am really afraid..afraid of you leaving with another guy..that will be the day everything is gone..cox you are my happiness....haiz..

Sorry....

I am trying hard..or maybe......

will you still accept me?

2006-09-22T06:55:00.000-07:00

tadah!...a pet created my me..just nice..a tortise named kukutise..hehe.. Hmm..Just came back from playing soccer with randall and jon cho...crap..3 person..so we played penalty shots..hahax.manz!..VJC maths paper totally sucks!! So damn difficult!..arrgh..
hmmmx...promos coming soon..and i am the only person online in my class now..crap huh?..slacker me..haiz..
yesterday had class discussion on Service Learning Project..oh man..I am clown!!..ahh!!..how?!?!..Kenneth! you gotta come and help! hahax!..=x..oh ya..still got project work..woo..stress stress..the datelines are so near..hmmx..and Mdm Azian say our WR is meet expectations..wee...my pw group!..jia you!...lets change ME to EE!!..=D..hmmx..these days..feelings in me...kinda return..seeing you smile..laugh..really make me very happy..but..I do not just want all this happiness...I just want to be your prince..once again...may i?

...seeing you smile...brighten up my day....=)..

2006-09-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

WOOHOO!!..One paper down!!..Chinese shoo!!..I hate you man..hahax..make me study till so tired..crap.. Today got back my group's WR. got 14 S, 10 G, and 17 A/E!!..wee...big improvement!..hahax. I am glad that at least my part have some improvement..at least my effort didn't go into the drain.
hmmx..wanted to type lots of stuff...but when I look at this blog page..everything just *poof*..maybe everything's gone..or maybe after talking to her..feel much happier ba..=)..thx..
Tuesday was a great day..I don't know how to describe the feeling..but..it was just great.. I suppose..the key to my happiness is in your hands...and now..I can't get that key back..
In school I laugh..I smile..but most of it is being forced by me...I want myself to stay happy..stay happy for u..hahax..I know its crap..how can i stay happy for someone else..shouldn't I be staying happy for myself?..I know that should be the case...but I'm sorry..cox to me..its worth it i guess....

Hmmx..after promos.I am gonna go out like mad..I am gonna pamper myself!!..I am gonna.....erm..erm...cant think of anything yet..hahaz..but of course..I am gonna shop!..shop for new bag..shop for new shoes..woohoo.so excited.hahax..not only that..gonna meet up with V6..and Faith 4-1 buddies..hahax.I miss you guys!!!...I finally realise the importance of friendship..finally!!..and i hope its not too late guys...=D...

Today, Kenneth is SO SO SO SO SO DAMN LUCKY!!..Imagine! Kenneth and me walking..SUDDENLY! One bird shit just shoot down from nowhere!!...and land right in front of kenneth!!! *splat!...wow!..lucky boy huh!!..Lucky I am beside him..hahax..But kenneth..if u so lucky, why didn't you see "pretty girl" on the way home huh? =x..hahax..don beat me tml..lolx..

may i be your prince once again?

2006-09-16T21:40:00.000-07:00

Just came back from church...the pastor gave a perfect sermon which makes me so awake..hahax.. The one which catch my attention was when he said,
Eversince God used Adam's rib bone and create a woman, man loses some of his characteristics due to the loss of bone...
So girls, if you wonder why are guys always so insensitive, uncaring, rough, etc....thats because those perfect characteristics are being used to create you girls..Thats the reason why God create something called "Family". When man and woman come together to accomodate each other, this will allow equal status for each other..Wife should listen to Husband, at the same time, Husband should listen to Wife too...in this way, both parties are not in any disadvantage isn't it...

hahax..okay, enough of that "preaching"...hmmx..today is Sunday..school reopening soon AGAIN..and the worse thing is Chinese Promos is this coming Wednesday!..crap..I haven even revise for it..hmmmx..I feel so dead..haven revise for Chemistry yet..Art too..haiz..no time..everything seems so tight...should i go and cut hair later?...is it a waste of time?..lolx..

wa....Hwei Ting, relax girl..you seem so stressed up..relax ya?..so what if you obtain great results and get into a great school and receive great education..It's all just stated in a piece of paper..and the most important thing is...you came to this world without anything..and you are gonna leave this world without bringing anything back with you..so what is the importance of stressing yourself so much..when you know that "The last reward for life is death"- quoted from Kenneth High Pants..hahax..yupe..I know I very naggy..hahax...but do think about it..=) Enjoy this life of yours to the fullest..before God decides to give you this "reward"...

dancing..a form of expressing yourself through moves..cool

2006-09-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Manage to change a new blogskin after struggling with the editing of template..hahax. What attracted me was the "dancing" image...the look of it makes me want to go back to secondary school and dance..=D.
Study from 2 plus to 10 today..but not productive i guess...manage to only finish Respiration, read abit of Hydroxyl Compund and finish the Maths Revision paper..sigh..needa mug abit more before i sleep..
zZzzZzz..just finish doing the cover page for WR..don't know nice notx..hahax..hao lei....zzzz..

erhem...i update le...its ur turn...=p

2006-09-15T06:29:00.000-07:00

Whee...saw these 3 shoes at royal sporting house at Tampines Mall. Manz..which one should i buy?..hahax..the red one not bad huh..but the material of the other 2 are good manx..oh ya!!..saw another puma bag!..I love it!!!..woohoo..but expensive...$79...maybe i should buy my bag first...hahax..my "outgear" bag is becoming more furry..hahax..okie..time to save money..heh..

hmmx..just came back from 6 hours of mugging..want to finish respiration in 1 day..=D..tired.lets see..yesterday..received my chem alkane and alkene test..failed it..damn!!..all the conditions are wrong!!..how can it be?!?! I drew mind maps..and failed..ok..maybe i din read it throughly..my fault..haha..oh ya.received my group's WR too..didn't do that well for my section..haiz..sorry guys..I promised to put all my brain cells on it..and get lots of "S", "AE" and "G"..hahax..
Have been mugging hard these days...slept at 1 everyday...so tired..
my ART promos postpone to monday!! after Chem!! Gosh..How to study like this?!?!?!..2 major and my lousiest subjects together..CRAP!...
haiz..today.....cant bring myself to ignore everything surrounding me..but...ya..still got affected in the end..but why?...why is the feeling so strong this time?..so difficult to get rid of it...haiz..

how i hope holidays never come...

2006-09-13T02:33:00.000-07:00

hmmmx..was late yesterday..can you believe it?..my first time being late you know..hahax.I was so happy when i saw a zero with a slash in the attendance..haha..ok, i am mad..
Today, Wednesday..I don't know...good, bad?...doesn't matter to me anyhow...
I seem to be back to myself....the quiet, emo guy..haha...is that good? I'm not sure..but I kinda like the feeling of wearing a happy mask...at least I force myself to interact with others and joke around..but that is not pure sociable i suppose...hahax..I am thinking too much..stupid me...
Ken today tell me the way to peace is ignorance...wow...din know he's that intellectual..hahax..not bad..thx huh..maybe thats the best way ba..
I bought Bio TB today!!...hahax..feel so nerdy bringing it back home....but I am wondering...will I use it?..I better...haha...so ex..><...
Today had Bio mock SPA...think I screw it up....wasn't in perfect shape to do it though...haiz..tired...
tml....she going for the dialogue with the principal i suppose?...hahax...gd luck duckie..all the best..don end up argueing with the principal..=x...
today before i left..got to took a last glance before i left...so near yet so far.....but what can i do...haix..I feel like an useless crap everyday..Seeing you _____________________ just makes me uncomfortable..maybe its time...haiz..

There was once a elf who is holding on to 2 balloons filled with Argon..he was floating up into the sky..higher and higher..but the problem is if he gets any higher..his life will be in danger. The only solution is to let go of the balloons and land safely on the ground.
However, the two balloons bring significant memories to him...he refuses to let them go..
Fortunately, the one which once brings him bad memories snap..and he's left with one balloon which brings him perfect and unforgetable memories..he refuses to let it go till the last second of his life.......will he make it?....or will he let it go...rather lead a ignorance life...than caring so much...and hurting his life again and again...someone please tel me the answer...

okay, i get what you mean....don't worry.=)..hahax..mug for ur promos la...you comfortable with it can le...be sure you can stand my suanning..hahax...tc...

i am tired..someone please help me out.....

2006-09-11T05:28:00.000-07:00

sheesh...shouldn't have went to seek consultation..got scolded for not doing work..okay..my fault..spent too much time on Biology and Chemistry..haiz.School sucks..I failed my GP..fail like nuts..manx..so discouraging..haiz..Maths quiz...got 18..weird..how did i do till so bad..haiz..sucks..

Sorry, but having bad mood today..I got a bad feeling..there just seems to be a boundary between us..things just don't seems right..I hate it..But heck..if things were to be like this..I shall just forget about it bahx..looking at the photo...something sure don't seems right..please tell me that i am wrong..so that I won't be hurt..haiz..I hate this feeling..I am confused..

Today my friend ask me..after promos..will I go back with her.. I was like..how I wish I can...but..it takes two hands to clap..obviously..the decision don't lie in me i suppose..But arrgh..I am lost..lost my direction suddenly..what happen dude..

erm...I suppose one of you who read this will be confused bahx...
Just want to say I'm sorry..I know...you are waiting for me to say something...but I am lost now. I am putting everything after Promos...concentrating on my Promos now....hope you understand....thx...=)..

Zheng Yi, HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!!!!
I am so sorry i can't get you anything...sorrie...really hope you enjoy your day...and..I believe life's gonna be better for you......tc!!!...

2006-09-09T21:48:00.000-07:00

wooo...just finish mindmap for Alkenes and Alkanes..I actually forgot about the chem test on Monday..crap..hahax..i still got Thermo Chem to study...oh manx..stress stress..stupid me..revise bio till forget chem..hahax..hmmx..nothing happen these 2 days actually..just mug mug mug..and..I finish 30 disc of "Mr Fighting" !!..woohoo..pro me..=D...mug tv as well..=p..maybe can sit for "Mr Fighting" A'level..haha..not bad..
A few more hours...back to school...putting on that fake mask of mine..getting ready to face everyone..lets hope it will be fine...=)...

Zheng yi!!..12 more hours to your birthday!!..hahax!

Phew!!..Finally!!..finish my revision for thermo..although i anyhow study one..=x..think i am gonna fail tml's remedial test.=p..hmmx..Tml's start of last term..wonder what sports am i going to do..please..not rockclimbing..i will die..haha..Manx..I am damn stressed up..seems like I am suffocated..arrgh..what's Singapore education doing..trying to kill us huh..squeeze everything in 2 years..might as well just send us to Survivor Camp for 2 years..bleaghx..
Tired Tired Tired..Hmmx..tml got 2 GP periods..crap..shall gonna fall asleep..
It's been long time since i last stepped in Squash court!!..OI!!..I wana SLAP squash balls!!..=x..hahax..

Hmmx..Kenneth finally got a blog..woohoo..good good..spent more time updating it ok?..Don't rot in front of your com le..hahax..Okays..thats all..I'm tired..nothing else to write..only pray that..I can face...***....tomorrow....=)..

Countdown...one and a half hours to Zheng Yi's birthday..

2006-09-08T07:32:00.000-07:00

phew..back from 7 hours of studying..not bad..left 1 page of Endocrine to finish..hahax..not bad..spent 1 day to finish Homeostasis and Endocrine System..good improvement..=D.. Hmmx, woke up at 9 today. Received geena's call, so talk to her. Told her how to study for her prelims and O'levels. hahax.if it don't work don't blame me..hahax..
Met up with HT at 4 plus at geylang east library. She was studying there alone at 3..so pathetic right..alone also don't know how to call me..hahax..I'm also rotting at home can.hahax. Cass came down later..then mug mug mug..then one of the librarian came to us and say that the area is for reading newspaper..oh please, the library is so empty at that point of time. Can't they just put the table to good use? But it's okay, I got to fill my stomach with food.=D.
After dinner, HT went to church, Cass and me went to 124 to study..those stupid kids were playing and screaming like no one's business. We gave them stares and they don't understand what we meant. Furthermore, the parents are in the gym exercising and don't even know how to shut them up. Nvm, at least I got my phone to blast songs into my ears. They are so much nicer than the screams..hahax..
Mug Mug Mug..then Cass came and drew my hand..-.-!!..4 lines i suppose?.hahax.okays, then she promised me she's going to write a 1000 word blog tonight!..hahax..she's dead..
hmmx..today seems fine..didn't think that much..hope this can go on....but..i really want to know..the truth..
Hmmx..heard something last night..which makes me...*don't know how to describe the feeling*..hahax..all i can say is that nothing is impossible in this world ba..hahax..
Hmmx..haven't done my art essay..manx..3 essays!..and daniel kok never even give us any template..oh manx..how to do?!?!?!?!?!..
Sigh..my class people don't seem to come online lately..must be mugging like mad..stress

all i want is the truth..

2006-09-07T07:23:00.000-07:00

an overview...
zoom in on the eye....*note the crack in the lens..
zoom in on the heart..

drew all these...while tears ran down my cheeks...

2006-09-06T22:27:00.000-07:00

came back from school..had a tiring bio lesson today..was kinda pissed during the lesson..don't know why too..hahax..but who cares.. hmmx..can't blog too long i guess..having tuition soon..haiz. pathetic life of mine..
Hmmx..she tied a new hairstyle today..hahax..look kinda nice though, didn't talk to her..nor look at her in her eyes..guess i am still that coward who can't face reality ba..haiz.
I am stressed up..everyone seems to be mugging hard..i'm still slacking..what happen to me?..where's that hardworking spirit of mine?..I feel tired everyday..tired of life..studying, thinking..thats how i lived these days bahx..Just now took the same bus as Hendro..hahax..both of us mugging..two serious guys in action!.woohoo...Hmmx..didn't see her left the class..suppose she mugging in school ba?..all the best..haiz..still thinking...whether..to say it out. is it worth a try?..or it will just be another blow to me..i don know..

Hmmx..yesterday went out with V6..this time round, randall around, but ken not..grr..Went to the beach at night..was pondering over some things..
I pleaded myself to cry..to dissolve everything in water and just let it out (i suppose thats why the beach is always filled with water)..hahax.for those who don't understand..nvm..lolx..Now, i suppose the one who knows most about me is hwei ting ba...but..the darkest secret still lies in one person..haiz..

this scar seems too deep to recover..

2006-09-05T02:20:00.000-07:00

Just watched finish 2 discs of "Mr Fighting". Things are getting so complicated and so..emotional? hahax.. Had gp and maths lessons today. So tiring..went to TM to eat pastamania. Thx to that duck..now my stomach still feels weird with that large amount of Tabassco (correct spelling?)..haha..
During maths lesson, i nearly went mad..was trying super hard to find my mistake in the Mauclaurin question. I took about...more than 15 minutes i suppose? haha.. Hmmx..after school, took bus with Yao to interchange. On the way asked her some questions which i shouldn't be asking. But, i just want to know the truth i guess....i am tired...i really am...have to carry so many burden..when can i ever put them down..I thought over it..was having a plan..but..i suppose i might as well as forget it. Tired...very tired..can anyone just tell what should i do? My friend once told me patience is a virtue..but is it really one when you know that something is impossible? Is it worth the time spent?
"When you have something, there is a possiblity of losing it..but when you lose something, there is a possibility of getting it back." I am pondering over this sentence..trying to apply it into my life. But whenever i think of it..I force myself to give up..and just tell myself..at least i enjoy my life for a period of time..when it's time to let go...let go..no point dragging it..Wo heng lei.. Putting a smile or a laugther on your face is extremely difficult and tiring..but what else can i do? Let my tear run down? no way..i must be strong..Just a matter of time i supposed..
To my friends out there...thanks for your concern..I know my mood hasn't been good..but what i want to say is that..leave a guy alone when he's punishing himself..let me learn the hard way..thanks V6...that night at national library..i was myself..no needa hide any of my feelings..i feel so light...=)..
Next, I guess my mom is kinda having some problems with me ba..last night she kept scolding me..and i am rather tired of it.She don't know how much pain i am suffering inside me..I need someone for support..but my parents are never there..they never understood me by the amount of time they spend with me..i am already used to living in my own world. Everyday i just mug and mug..but i supposed i already lost my aim in life..
My dad everyday just come home and sit aside watching television. Often, order me to do this and that..I had enough of that. What is he treating me as..maid?..He does things outside which he think I don't know. But in fact..i know everything..i am just don't wish to say out anything.Seeing him doing that just pains me and I really feel like going up to him and lecture him. But what rights do i have to do that. NTH!..I had enough..tired..exhausted..it's already tuesday..few days more to reopening to school. I need to get myself back to normal..I am trying hard.But everytime i just fail..God, strengthen me..i need more than that to recover..please..
zheng yi..is this my punishment?.

shattered inside..

i learn the hard way...i supposed what i can do now is just forget u slowly..although it pains me alot..letting you go....

2006-09-04T02:23:00.000-07:00

wee..this is my new blog..hahax. Lets see how long this blog will last though..I had 2 blogs before, but i was lazy to update, so why even bother to keep them.haaz.

Just back from macdonalds, studied with randall. Was supposed to study for 4 hours. But that stupid guy have to go after 2 hours because he meeting his friends. well done. and later we are gonna meet up for soccer. Hahax..it's been long since i met up with eugene foo and wei xiong, wonder how have they been..oh no..why am i creating a new blog now. I'm supposed to do my GP comprehension...oh crap.Hmm, learning from Cai Xuan how to put the new blogskin now..i feel so stupid..lolx

trying to make use of this holiday..to take a vacation away from reality..really hope i can be back..